Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA)

If I weren't so vain I would post a picture of my hands.  But alas -- I am so vain (feel free to sing "You're So Vain by Carley Simon here).

The last several months have been pretty difficult for me.  My joints have been so swollen and painful that I haven't been able to move.  I could hardly stand most days or get dressed for that matter and walking was pretty funny looking.  Cord being the amazing husband that he is has had to take over all of the housework with the help of the kids.  He has even had to do my hair which is quite the feat!  I know that for most people when they think of arthritis they think of old people and osteoarthritis, but what I have is an R.A. -- an autoimmune disease that causes chronic inflamation of the joints.  Basically I will have it for the rest of my life.

I have had such a tough time asking for help or letting people (other than close friends & family) know just how bad things have been.  It's a sad day after all when I have to ask Will to get the milk out of the refrigerator because I can't lift it myself!  There were days I felt pretty sorry for myself.  I worried that I would not be able to sew again or blog because both of these things were now too painful.  I also worried that Will & Barry's only memories of me would be of me as an "old lady" mom who couldn't run & play like other mom's.  Then there are my "man hands".   My hands are so big & ugly (I told you I am vain :) ha)

But then I had to kick myself and look at all my blessings.  Yes, I have some physical trials that I am going to have to cope with -- so what.  I have been blessed more than I deserve.  I have a husband who is my best friend and he's pretty cute to boot.  I have the laughter (and yes even the occasional  scream) of children filling my house and I have wonderful friends.  I also have the gospel of Jesus Christ which has strengthened me.

My brother Chris has R.A. too and I look to him as my great example.  He was diagnosed when he was at BYU and has dealt with it wonderfully.  He rarely complains and is still able to do so many things with his kids.  He plays baseball & soccer with them and like I said I know he is in pain but keeps a smile on his face.  I keep telling myself that I can do this -- I can be like Chris.

I have been on medication for 3 weeks now and I can't tell you the difference I feel.  I can walk up & down stairs, lift, and even do my own hair! :)  I feel blessed to have the availability of such good medical care.  And I am filled with hope for the future.

So that it why I haven't been blogging much and that is also why I am now fat -- because what else was I supposed to do but read & eat peanut butter m&m's the last few months?  And I guess I will continue on with the weight gain as a side effect of the meds -- that's me fat & happy! But hopefully I'll loose the man hands. ha!   Thanks for all your kind words over the last while -- I consider myself lucky!